Harry Potter: The Musical
by CrazyMage
Summary: When a bunch of American exchange students come to Hogwarts, the whole school can't help but break into song. READ AND REVIEW!CHAPTER 2 UP! SNAPE'S TOO SEXY FOR HIS SHIRT!
1. The new Students

Hello. It's me your Slytherin Queen! Now you may see on my author page a little story called Slytherin Island. Well It's discontinued I realized the plot was dumb and was going nowhere. Even though this is a Harry Potter MUSICAL! I hadn't decided it would be a musical until further into the story. (I have about 30 pages already written) So this chapter won't have any musical numbers unless you count an interrupted Jingle Bells parody.

so...

Disclamer: I do not own Harry Potter, Krabby Patties, Gameboy (well I do own but all trademarks belong to Nintendo) or Fire Emblem (which again I own, it's just the trademarks belong to Nintendo)or Fairly Odd Parents or Spiderman or Kingdom Hearts.

WARNING: This Musical contains many made-up characters.

(Crazy Mage is a young 15 year old girl. She has bright orange hair and is wearing black robes. She is sitting next to her friends Cat and Alicia at the lunch table. Cat and Alicia are 15 also Cat is plotting the demise of her arch-nemesis Marc and Alicia is trying to memorize all the moons of Yugopotamia. Crazy Mage takes an envelope out of her backpack)

Crazy Mage; Now I can finally read this letter that I got!

Cat: You got one of those too? shows her letter

Alicia: No kidding! I have one too. takes her letter out

Crazy Mage:reads letter Dear Crazy Mage...

Cat: You have been accepted into

Alicia: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...

Crazy Mage: ALRIGHT! We're going to Hogwarts!

Cat: Jingle Bells!

Crazy Mage: FISH BOY BURNS!

Alicia: Ummm... Rabid Weasel's coming this way...

Cat: My school bus just lost a- Oh Hi Rabid Weasel!

Rabid Weasel: Hey guys! Now is it just me or were you guys just singing Jingle Bells in the middle of March?

Alicia: Ummm... We like to keep the Christmas Spirit going.

Rabid Weasel: Wow, how much pot d'ya guys smoke. sees letters Hey me and my friend Fish Boy got letters just like that.

Crazy Mage: OH NO! KRABBY PATTIES! FUDGE! SHIZITS! DARVIT! continues to curse in this strange way

Rabid Weasel: What's her prob?

Alicia: oh nothing...

HOGWARTS EXPRESS

Crazy Mage, Cat and Alicia are in one of those compartments

Alicia: I can't believe we're actually going!

Crazy Mage: I've been imagining this for a long time!

Cat: and I'm sure none of your imagining had anything to do with magic.

Crazy Mage: looks out window Wow, this is going to be a long ride. That's why I brought my Gameboy.

Harry enters

Harry: Hey you guys must be those Americans we've heard so much about.

Alicia: nods Yes we are, I'm Alicia

Cat; I'm Cat.

Crazy Mage: DIE ALIEN SCUM! DANCE SPIDEY DANCE! Isn't Sora a girls' name?

Ron and Hermione enter

Ron: Hey Harry! That stupid prefect meeting is finally over. sees Crazy Mage Is she going to be alright?

Alicia: Yes she's always like this when she's playing video games.

Ron: What's a video game?

Hermione: Ron, you're a PREFECT, you're not supposed to call the meeting stupid.

Ron: Well it was! That Pansy Parkinson kept ranting about how Malfoy broke up with her over vactation-

Crazy Mage: HE'S SINGLE YES! Harry, Ron and Hermione give her a very strange look i mean- HE'S SINGLE! HE'S THE LAST PERSON ON THE BATTLEFIELD! PREPARE TO DIE NERGAL!

Harry: oook...

they all leave

Rabid Weasel pokes his head through

Rabid Weasel: HIYA!

Crazy Mage: in a voice only Cat and Alicia could hear Rabid Weasel came this way...

Rabid Weasel: Harry Potter is a fing weasel (all swears are bleeped out in this production)

Girls: dying of laughter

Rabid Weasel: You guys are totally stoned bye!

LATER

Harry, Ron and Hermione are back

Crazy Mage: NO IT CAN'T BE! MY GAMEBOY RAN OUT OF BATTERIES NOOOOOOOOOO!

Hermione: We must be arriving near Hogwarts. None of that electric trash works there...

Crazy Mage: You mean... I won't be able to play video games until I get out of Hogwarts?

Hermione: 'Fraid so...

Crazy Mage :NO! OH THE HUMANITY WHY!


	2. Too Sexy

Hello, hello HELLO! I am your beloved Queen of Slytherin. Well anyways, my request for today is that your REVIEW! I don't even care if you review to tell me about what you had for dinner last night. Just take a few moments of your life to talk to me.

In the non computer world I am doing this little thing called Quote Challenges where you give me a quote from a TV Show, Book, Movie, Homestarrunner, etc and I try to fit it into my story somehow. Just a warning, I might not be able to put in your Quote Challenges until much later in the story because I have at least 30 pages stored that are not available to the general public.

Now the reviewers: (Another incentive to review: I will send you a weird message on my next chapter when you review.)

Nota Lone: MY FIRST REVIEWER! It's very funny I was innocently doing whatever online and then I hear you've got mail! and this is only like 10 minutes after I posted the thing. Chocolate eh? your making chocolate I LOOOOVE CHOCOLATE!

Onono: HOLY CRAP! More reviews! I leave the computer for 5 minutes and the AOL thing on the bottom of my screen is dancing and has the number 1 for a second. You scared me for a second. I thought I was about to receive my first official flame!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or Right Said Fred. The concept of the first ever musical number in this story is taken from HALL

Dumbledore: Now I know you guys are just itching to get on with the Sorting Ceremony, especially since we have our American Exchange students coming, but first Snape has a special speech to make. Snape walks up to the podium

Snape: I'm too sexy for my love,

to sexy for my love,

love's going to leave.

starts doing a weird dance

I'm too sexy for my shirt,

starts taking off shirt

Too sexy for my shirt.

So sexy it hurts!

pulls down a map and points to Milan

I'm too sexy for Milan,

too sexy for Milan

points to New York

New York

points to Japan

and Japan.

continues dancing while Gilderoy Lockhart jumps up in random places

I'm to sexy for your party,

to sexy for your party

no way I'm disco dancing

does a little disco dance then jumps on one of the house tables

I'm a model you know what I mean as I do my little turn on the catwalk.

walks up the table copying all of Tyra Banks' best moves

I do my little turn on the catwalk.

a bunch of cheerleaders drive in in a convertable

Snape: I'm too sexy for my car

too sexy for my car

too sexy by far

drives away

Dumbledore: Thanks, Professor Snape for that wonderful performance. Now for this year we have made a new house because it is just impossible to fit some of these students into the original four. This house is called Idiot Asylum. Now let's bring in the Sorting Hat. The Sorting Hat is brought in We will have no First Years this year.

McGonnagal: I was in _Clash of the Titans _I rock! Alicia...

Sorting Hat: hmm... You're very intelligent... RAVENCLAW!

McGonagall: Cat...

Sorting Hat: hmmm... definitely a psycho... HUFFLE PUFF!

McGonagall: Fish Boy...

Sorting Hat: ... A total jerk, but he's not cool enough for Slytherin, IDIOT ASYLUM!

McGonagall: Crazy Mage...

Sorting Hat: Way too easy... Slytherin!

Dumbledore: YAY! We're done! IT'S NAKED TIME! ummm... Let's eat!

Crazy Mage is sitting next to Draco

Draco: I love your hair. It's orange you should wear black all the time!

Crazy Mage: Why thank you... giggles

Cat: (to Alicia) Let's embarass Crazy Mage in front of her boyfriend!

Crazy Mage: So is it true Slytherin throws wild parties every Fri-

Alicia: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT FISH BOY ACTULLY LIKED YOU!

Cat: WHO'D LIKE YOU CRAZY MAGE! YOU ARE SO WEIRD!

Alicia: LIKE THAT TIME AT OUR OLD SCHOOL WHEN YOU STARTED CALLING OUR ENGLISH TEACHER MR.T!

Cat: AND YOU DREW THAT SUPER SAYAN ON YOUR NOTE BOOK!

Alicia: AND THAT TIME WHEN YOU DREW HITLER IN YOUR NOTEBOOK!

Cat: AND THE MICKEY MOUSE WITH PIERCED EARS!

Crazy Mage: turns red


End file.
